HELLO I AM MOVING ON. I WILL CLOSE THIS BLOG SOON. OMG I HAVE ANOTHER BLOG PREVIOUSLY AND I CLOSED THAT ALR. THAT ONE IS A BLOG I STARTED SINCE I WAS SEC ONE. HAHA, THE THINGS I BLOGGED ABOUT WAS SO CHILDISH I CANNOT SO I CLOSED THAT TIME. I JUST WENT BACK TO READ. I THINK THE LAYOUT WAS SO NICE BUT THE CONTENT HAHAHA CANNOT SIA. THIS ONE, ALTHOUGH ONLY 10 PLUS POSTS BECAUSE I'M SO LAZY TO UPDATE, I WILL CLOSE THIS TOO. SO BYE. PROBABLY WILL START BLOGGING AGAIN DURING DECEMBER WHEN I HAVE MORE TIME. THE REASON WHY I WANT TO CLOSE IS YES BECAUSE I AM MOVING ON. I WILL MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. I WILL NOT LOOK BACK ANYMORE. I AM TIRED OF BEING THERE FOR PEOPLE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T CARE A SHIT ABOUT ME. I SWEAR THE ONLY ONE THAT I ALLOW TO DO THIS TO ME IS HIM, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS. :) YES I WON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU ANYMORE. MEMORIES, SO WHAT? NOBODY CARES. IT JUST MEANS HISTORY, WE JUST GOT TO MOVE ON AND NOT LET HISTORY HAPPENS AGAIN. OKAY. YES ALL THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE MAN. I WAS SO STUPID THAT TIME TO THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE HURT OR WHAT. HAHA. I SHOULDN'T EVEN CARE FROM THE START. YES I SWEAR I WILL NOT EVEN MSG AND CONCERN ABOUT YOU ANYMORE. BYEBYE.
OMG I SWEAR ONLY HE IS WORTH MY CONCERN. NO MORE CARING ABOUT OTHERS.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Hello hello. Emotional night again. Sorry but I tend to be more emotional at this kind of timing. And fml blame my hands. I clicked on something on social media and saw something that really hurts me so much. But okay la I'm feeling much better now.
I know he won't be reading this. But. Everytime I login to this blog account, I will think of him. The password is he changed for me. It consists of our anniversary date and his birthday. Hahaha if anyone is reading this, you can try hacking. Because the arrangement is kinda, aiya whatever I doubt anyone will have so much time. Okay so it's another night when I think about the past. I know I really need to get over everything, but I just can't. At the end of the day, I still care. Maybe because he's someone I have been together for so long. Someone who understands me inside out. Someone who have seen every side of me. I used to be a girl with no sense of fashion, merely wearing a tee shirt and fbt. But he taught me how to wear nicer clothes and stuff, although my fashion sense now still very jialat haha. He had seen the ugly side of me. I used to not wear any contacts and makeup. He has seen my naked face yet loved me for who I am. He knew all my health problems like errrhm hahaha. So, I was thinking of the day I left him. That very last day. That day, I didn't drop any tears. I was so heartless. Okay I don't want to elaborate on how we part. At least my wish is granted, that is him finding someone better than me. After all, I'm not good enough. I have never blame him or anyone for our breakup, I just blame myself. Yes, only myself. Sigh. I was also thinking of the last time I met him. That day I went to took my things from him. And when I part from him that day, I broke down. I literally broke down. I don't know why do I even feel that day. I just feel so lost. Luckily that day, babyg was there for me. I called her, cried to her, met her and I feel so much better. Oh ya saw William that day too. Sigh I really want to thank every single one who are there for me :') okay la, like what I have always said, I don't regret anything that I have done. :')
Okay will end here. Sorry for all the grammar error, too lazy to go back and edit. Haha. I know I will regret on the next morning about what I posted. But yolo. Gonna try to sleep soon. Lesson at 8am. Fml. Hahahah. Bye :) and good night to someone special. I haven't been talking to you. And I know you won't be reading this too. But. You still matters to me a lot. I need to sort out my feelings. I need to sort out many things. And I have to focus on my studies, my exam and projects. I will contact you again next month okay. I hope I will do well for my studies. That msg of you asking me to work hard, is still in my phone. Although it may mean nothing to you, it meant so much to me! That's my source of motivation now. :') <3 x
I know he won't be reading this. But. Everytime I login to this blog account, I will think of him. The password is he changed for me. It consists of our anniversary date and his birthday. Hahaha if anyone is reading this, you can try hacking. Because the arrangement is kinda, aiya whatever I doubt anyone will have so much time. Okay so it's another night when I think about the past. I know I really need to get over everything, but I just can't. At the end of the day, I still care. Maybe because he's someone I have been together for so long. Someone who understands me inside out. Someone who have seen every side of me. I used to be a girl with no sense of fashion, merely wearing a tee shirt and fbt. But he taught me how to wear nicer clothes and stuff, although my fashion sense now still very jialat haha. He had seen the ugly side of me. I used to not wear any contacts and makeup. He has seen my naked face yet loved me for who I am. He knew all my health problems like errrhm hahaha. So, I was thinking of the day I left him. That very last day. That day, I didn't drop any tears. I was so heartless. Okay I don't want to elaborate on how we part. At least my wish is granted, that is him finding someone better than me. After all, I'm not good enough. I have never blame him or anyone for our breakup, I just blame myself. Yes, only myself. Sigh. I was also thinking of the last time I met him. That day I went to took my things from him. And when I part from him that day, I broke down. I literally broke down. I don't know why do I even feel that day. I just feel so lost. Luckily that day, babyg was there for me. I called her, cried to her, met her and I feel so much better. Oh ya saw William that day too. Sigh I really want to thank every single one who are there for me :') okay la, like what I have always said, I don't regret anything that I have done. :')
Okay will end here. Sorry for all the grammar error, too lazy to go back and edit. Haha. I know I will regret on the next morning about what I posted. But yolo. Gonna try to sleep soon. Lesson at 8am. Fml. Hahahah. Bye :) and good night to someone special. I haven't been talking to you. And I know you won't be reading this too. But. You still matters to me a lot. I need to sort out my feelings. I need to sort out many things. And I have to focus on my studies, my exam and projects. I will contact you again next month okay. I hope I will do well for my studies. That msg of you asking me to work hard, is still in my phone. Although it may mean nothing to you, it meant so much to me! That's my source of motivation now. :') <3 x
Monday, September 30, 2013
Emotional post
This post is gonna be quite emotional I guess. Because it's 2am plus now and as usual, I can't fall asleep as there will be so many things running through my mind. I'm gonna write out how I really feel deep down in my heart that I have not really say it out, because I don't know who can I say to and how to say it. So let's begin! (I got a feeling I will regret the next morning for typing such emotional stuff but yolo right)
This thing has always been haunting me almost every night. Is that I will think of going back to 4 years ago. 4 years ago, I met someone so important to me that I gave up on almost everything I would say. I drifted away from many people, I do know all these. I just don't say. Back then, I can say that I was the happiest girl in the world. I met someone I was really in love with, and he was really nice to me. His shoulder was always there for me when I needed one, I could just break down in front of him and he would comfort me and stuff. His ears were there for me whenever I was angst or whatsoever, I could just rant out everything and he would stand by my side no matter what. Everyday, I complaint to him how much I hated school but he never fails to be there to cheer me up and made me forget everything that I was unhappy about. Occasionally, we would have some mini outings. He was someone who is freaking lazy to travel, he just like to stay in his comfort zone and would prefer to laze around at home, but because of me, we travelled to many places. He would bring me to have my favorite food such as steak etc. There were too many things that he did for me to list down. Initially when we got together, many were judging us as our backgrounds were different? Idk. But we received many comments like saying we won't last long. We proved them wrong. Although we did have many quarrels, but we would overcome them. We always solve our problems together. I do have some attitude problem, and I know there were a couple of times when I talked in a manner that nobody can stand it. But never once did he hit me. He always said he wanted to hit me, but he just don't bear to do it to me. But in the end, I lost to myself. I am the one who broke this relationship. I screwed up everything. We did break up once. He tried to secure the relationship, we patched back, but I was always the one taking things for granted. Finally, we let go and moved on with our life.
Sometimes, I will think of going back to 4 years ago. I was so happy back then. There was someone there for me, someone there to shower me love. But if given a chance. I will still make the same decision. I don't regret on the things I do. I just can't help but reminisce the past. Right now, I know he is leading a happy life. I wanted to tell him this but I just don't know how to say it, I will wish him all the best in his current life, and I'm glad he is happy now.
As of me, I moved on too. I learnt how to be independent. From depending on someone for so many years, someone who was always there for me, my world only revolve around him, to someone who have to face the world alone. I am really glad that I met many people who helped me through along the way. :')
Right now, I have someone who I cannot let go. I won't go into details of this person. I will just say, this person stands a very important place in my heart. It's too complicated for me to elaborate. So, what's revolving around my life now is my family, friends, him, fangirling and getai. Hahaha. I will like to add on to the fangirling and getai part, it's actually a way for me to relieve my stress and put down all my sorrow. Don't judge me on that. Everyone has their own interest, that's my interest lol.
This thing has always been haunting me almost every night. Is that I will think of going back to 4 years ago. 4 years ago, I met someone so important to me that I gave up on almost everything I would say. I drifted away from many people, I do know all these. I just don't say. Back then, I can say that I was the happiest girl in the world. I met someone I was really in love with, and he was really nice to me. His shoulder was always there for me when I needed one, I could just break down in front of him and he would comfort me and stuff. His ears were there for me whenever I was angst or whatsoever, I could just rant out everything and he would stand by my side no matter what. Everyday, I complaint to him how much I hated school but he never fails to be there to cheer me up and made me forget everything that I was unhappy about. Occasionally, we would have some mini outings. He was someone who is freaking lazy to travel, he just like to stay in his comfort zone and would prefer to laze around at home, but because of me, we travelled to many places. He would bring me to have my favorite food such as steak etc. There were too many things that he did for me to list down. Initially when we got together, many were judging us as our backgrounds were different? Idk. But we received many comments like saying we won't last long. We proved them wrong. Although we did have many quarrels, but we would overcome them. We always solve our problems together. I do have some attitude problem, and I know there were a couple of times when I talked in a manner that nobody can stand it. But never once did he hit me. He always said he wanted to hit me, but he just don't bear to do it to me. But in the end, I lost to myself. I am the one who broke this relationship. I screwed up everything. We did break up once. He tried to secure the relationship, we patched back, but I was always the one taking things for granted. Finally, we let go and moved on with our life.
Sometimes, I will think of going back to 4 years ago. I was so happy back then. There was someone there for me, someone there to shower me love. But if given a chance. I will still make the same decision. I don't regret on the things I do. I just can't help but reminisce the past. Right now, I know he is leading a happy life. I wanted to tell him this but I just don't know how to say it, I will wish him all the best in his current life, and I'm glad he is happy now.
As of me, I moved on too. I learnt how to be independent. From depending on someone for so many years, someone who was always there for me, my world only revolve around him, to someone who have to face the world alone. I am really glad that I met many people who helped me through along the way. :')
Right now, I have someone who I cannot let go. I won't go into details of this person. I will just say, this person stands a very important place in my heart. It's too complicated for me to elaborate. So, what's revolving around my life now is my family, friends, him, fangirling and getai. Hahaha. I will like to add on to the fangirling and getai part, it's actually a way for me to relieve my stress and put down all my sorrow. Don't judge me on that. Everyone has their own interest, that's my interest lol.
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